Success Isn’t Selfish: How to Enjoy (and Share) What We’ve Built
Sometimes, success comes with a side of self-doubt. Remember these tips for how to overcome unwanted feelings of guilt at your achievements.
As a woman who is in a never-ending weight loss battle with the scale, I am extremely familiar with guilt.
Guilt that I didn't walk today...
Guilt that I ate dessert.. (scratch that)
Guilt that I ate 2 desserts… (that's more honest)
And I've seen how guilt in one area of my life often becomes pervasive and starts to creep into other areas of life before I even know it.
Take financial independence, for example… there's a type of guilt that sneaks in when we're actually winning in life. We've worked our tails off, built our careers, earned financial independence, and created lives that should make us want to high-five ourselves daily. But instead? There’s this nagging little voice whispering, Are you sure you deserve this? What is the purpose of all this?
It’s as if success comes with a side of self-doubt, and for women, that side dish is supersized.
Where Is the Guilt Coming From?
Societal Expectations – Whether we like it or not, women have been conditioned to be caregivers, peacekeepers, and team players. So when we put ourselves first—by going after a raise, splurging on a well-earned luxury, or setting boundaries—we sometimes feel like we’re breaking an unspoken rule.
Comparisons & Judgment – Ever downplayed your achievements because you didn’t want to seem “braggy”? Or felt bad about your financial wins when you know others are struggling? Women are often taught to shrink themselves to make others comfortable. Spoiler alert: that’s not our job.
The “Good Girl” Syndrome – Many of us were raised to be polite, grateful, and humble. And while those are great qualities, they shouldn’t come at the expense of owning our success. We earned it. Period.
Fear of Outpacing Others – Maybe our parents struggled financially, or we’ve surpassed our siblings or friends in terms of financial stability. It’s natural to feel torn, but dimming our lights won’t help anyone else shine. Instead, what if we used our position/experience to uplift others?
Rewriting the Narrative
So, how do we ditch the guilt and fully embrace our success with purpose and generosity?
Acknowledge Our Hard Work – Our achievements didn’t happen by accident. We worked for them. Own it.
Remember: Success Is Not a Pie – Just because we have more doesn’t mean others have less. Wealth, happiness, and fulfillment aren’t limited resources. Our success can be a vehicle for positive change.
Flip the Script – Instead of feeling guilty, ask, How can I use my success to enrich my own life and the lives of others? Maybe that means investing in self-care without guilt, mentoring someone who could use a boost, or donating to causes that matter.
Give Generously—To Ourselves and Others – Generosity isn’t just about financial giving. It’s about sharing our knowledge, time, and energy in ways that feel right. We must treat ourselves with the same kindness we extend to others, and use our success as a tool to empower both ourselves and our communities.
The Bottom Line
Success isn’t something we need to apologize for—it’s something to celebrate and use wisely. So go ahead, take up space, own your wins, and find ways to make your success meaningful. You’ve earned it. And if you need someone to cheer you on (or help you make smart financial moves with your well-earned money), I’m here for it.
Let’s leave guilt at the door and start embracing everything we’ve worked so hard for—with purpose, generosity, and joy. Agreed?